Which David God Fisher knew all along -- he was just waiting for his
personal friend Mike Helton to agree with him so he could launch a
tirade on the shoddy J.C. Whitney seatbelts and mountings used in
NASCAR, as compared to F1, where seatbelts and mountings never break.
Mike Helton will now be revealed by David God Fisher to be a moral,
tee-totaling, kindly and benevolent man, abandoned by the rest of
NASCAR, a scum-sucking bunch of heartless gobshites whose only reason
for existence is to kill as many drivers as possible for the enjoyment
of the hordes of unwashed, sweaty, beer-sodden mini-Caligulas who make
up the fan base of NASCAR. D. God Fisher will also reveal that the team
owners, mechanics, sanitation crew, and popcorn vendors of NASCAR have
entered into a ***-pact with the rest of NASCAR (not the now-noble
Mike Helton, of course), the ***thirsty and unscrupulous TV networks
and the duplicitous Simpson Safety Equipment Co. to ensure that the
aforementioned shoddy J.C. Whitney seatbelts are surreptitiously altered
to look like REAL 6-point harnesses, all to promote the ***bath that
the Neanderthal, beer-swilling, undereducated, dirt-eating, wife (or
husband)-beating, nose-picking NASCAR fan demands.
You heard it here first.
BB