Glad you managed to make some progress. It took me about a week (2 years
ago) to get mine really sorted, and I haven't had to change it since.
As you've found, the latency is very much down you your personal combination
of controller and PC/OS, but the other two settings (and your controller's
own settings) are much more subjective.
The two main paths people seem to follow are very light forces & low
damping, or very high force strength with heavy damping.
Partly because my controller gets the occasional spike, I prefer to have
very light forces & damping (otherwise the spikes would throw me off the
track).
My damping is set to 10.0 in the core.ini, and steering torque is 500,
although anything over about 300 is probably enough for light effects with a
wheel. If you tend to hold the wheel lightly & let it guide you through the
corners, try this approach.
For a stiffer feel to your wheel, you could set the damping to around 60-65,
with steering torque at around 100-150. If you tend to get white knuckles &
lean your whole body into corners, this might work better for you so you've
got something to fight with. Read the readme11.txt in your gpl folder for
more info.
Personally I leave my wingman settings at 100% but that's because I don't
really use ff in anything but gpl.
If you race another sim or game that doesn't have built in ff adjustment (eg
Viper Racing), set up your controller software to work with that, then
adjust your gpl settings afterwards to compensate.
Don't forget to make sure you have disabled the centering spring, and use
split-axis pedals if you have the option.
Malc.