> You are saying my friends are full of hot air?
> Uh oh... I'm about to have a moment... Must... resist......
> GAH!! I can't help myself!
> Do you know what time it is?
> It's story time, boys and girls!!
> "Weeee! A story!"
> Billy-Blu-Bob lived in a beautiful neighborhood in Lawnville, USA.
> Everyone mowed their lawn twice per week. People tried all sorts of
> different things to make their lawn the most beautiful lawn in
> Lawnville.
> One day, Joe-Red-Bob (Billy-Blu-Bob's cousin) asked his
> wife,"Rickie-Red-Bob, would it be ok if I cut the lawn shorter? I
> think that might be more beautiful than Billy-Blu-Bob's lawn!"
> Rickie-Red-Bob replied, "Sure Joe-Red-Bob, that'd be fine with me!
> You're so smart! I bet that would make our lawn the most beautiful
> lawn in all of Lawnville!"
> With Rickie-Red-Bob's blessing, Joe-Red-Bob lowered his mower from the
> 1-1/2" cutting height everyone else in Lawnville used to only 1" and
> mowed his whole lawn. It was more work because the lawn was being cut
> much shorter than anyone else's lawn in Lawnville, but Joe-Red-Bob and
> Rickie-Red-Bob knew it was worth it. And sure enough, after he
> finished his hard work, everyone in Lawnville agreed that Joe-Red-Bob
> had the most beautiful lawn in Lawnville!
> Now, the people in Lawnville were very smart people. Joe-Red-Bob was
> smart. But Billy-Blu-Bob's brains brittled and bounced with brand new
> ideas.
> Billy-Blu-Bob asked his wife, a (big boobed blonde babe), "Hey
> Brandie-Blu-Bob, how would you like me to cut our lawn even shorter?
> I'll cut it to 3/4" height. That will be 25% more work, but
> Brandie-Blue-Bob, it will be worth it! We'll have the most beautiful
> lawn in Lawnville!"
> Brandie-Blu-Bob replied, "Sure Billy-Blu-Bob!!"
> Billy-Blu-Bob got to mowing. When he was finished, everyone agreed
> that Billy-Blu-Bob had the most beautiful lawn in Lawnville!
> Now, up the street was a feller by the name of Timmy. Timmy didn't
> really fit in. His name was wierd and he was a cartoon character from
> SouthPark, which wasn't anywhere near Lawnville. But, he was sure a
> smart feller! He had been watching what was going on and loved his
> lawn even more than anybody in Lawnville loved their own.
> One sunny day, he went to his wife and announced,"Tammy, I know what's
> going on. The shorter the grass is, the more beautiful the lawn! I'm
> going to build a special lawn mower that will cut the grass to only
> 1/4" height! Then, our lawn will be the most beautiful lawn in
> Lawnville for a very long time! Why, their lawn mowers can't even cut
> the grass that short!"
> Tammy said, "Timmy! That's a great idea! But you've never built a
> lawn mower before! Nobody in Lawnville has ever built their own
> lawnmower before! Only the people in Capitol Riches and Tunza
> Resources have ever built their own lawnmowers!"
> "Don't worry Tammy, I can do it!" exclaimed Timmy.
> Sure enough, Timmy built the lawn mower and started mowing. He had a
> very big lawn to mow for a little guy in a wheelchair, but he kept at
> it, refusing to give up. Surprisingly, he mowed just as fast as the
> guys in Capitol Riches and Tunza Resources!
> After he had half the lawn mowed, a neighbor stopped by and could not
> believe what he was seeing. The grass was so short! It was impossible
> to make grass that short! There wasn't a lawnmower in the whole world
> that could do it! And it was so much more beautiful than any lawn he
> had ever seen! The neighbor told some other neighbors. Timmy told
> some others. Before long, Timmy's lawn was the talk of Lawnville.
> "It's beautiful!"
> "I've never seen anything like it!"
> "This is going to be the most beautiful lawn in Lawnville!"
> "How did you do it?"
> "When will you be finished?"
> "What's it going to feel like to walk on that very short grass?"
> Timmy told them how he was doing it. He told them how he built his own
> lawnmower. He told them how the lawnmower worked, what it was built
> from, how it was constructed, how the special blades worked. He told
> them all about it! Anyone who asked him a question got an answer.
> This was very unusual for such a breakthrough in lawncare technology.
> Nobody that built lawnmowers in Capitol Riches and Tunza Resources ever
> talked about how their lawnmowers worked with anybody. Tammy knew
> this. And it was beginning to make her nervous.
> Even the folks at the Lawnville radio station, K-GRAS, interviewed him.
> He was in the magazines and newspapers (they write very fast in
> Lawnville). People on the internet talked about it after seeing
> pictures and movies of the finished parts of his new lawn.
> But after some time, some of the neighbors became impatient. They
> never actually watched a giant lawn the size of Timmy and Tammy's giant
> lawn get mowed on a daily basis. They normally would drive out to the
> rich parts of Lawnville and see the really big lawns when they were
> finished.
> "Come on, how long does it take to mow your lawn? With that special
> mower it should be done by now!"
> Later still, while Timmy was still mowing along, wishing he had thirty
> or fourty people helping him like the other people with really big
> lawns in Lawnville had, Tammy took him aside and confided in him.
> "Timmy, I don't feel comfortable with you talking to all of these
> people. You're telling them everything. Nobody else in Lawnville, and
> especially Capitol Riches or Tunza Resources does this. We didn't do
> this in SouthPark either. You're even telling them how your lawn mower
> works and how you built it. What if somebody in Capitol Riches or
> Tunza Resources catches on, builds a mower like yours, and mows a lawn
> as beautiful as the one you're making? Please Timmy, stop telling
> everyone what you're up to. Stop sending people pictures all the time,
> doing interviews, and all of this stuff. Wait until you're almost
> finished and then I will tell them about it for you, ok? Trust me, I
> know how to handle these things better than you."
> Timmy begrudingly obeyed Tammy and stopped talking to the neighbors
> about his lawn.
> Some time later, after noticing that Timmy never popped his head over
> the back yard fence any more (the front yard was finished, anyone who
> bothered to walk by could see the beautiful lawn), they began wondering
> where he was. They wrote Timmy letters and called him. But he obeyed
> Tammy's wishes and ignored them. It tore his heart out, but he had no
> choice.
> Before long, people became impatient. Then angry. Then downright
> hostile. Had Timmy led them along and pulled some sort of prank?
> Where in the world was he? Why wasn't he talking to anyone anymore?
> People began to think he had disappeared. They couldn't see over his
> backyard fence to see him mowing, and Tammy wouldn't let him out until
> it was done.
> The began to think it would never be finished.
> "It'll never be finished!"
> "You'll never finish!"
> "Are you going to finish?"
> Timmy didn't care what they said, he just wanted to have the most
> beautiful lawn in Lawnville, so he kept right on mowing his backyard
> behind the fence. It was just a matter of time now. The mower worked
> great and he knew how to use it. If people snuck through his back gate
> and asked how he built his lawn mower or wanted to see pictures of the
> finished parts of his back lawn, he would still happily show them, but
> not to the mean ones because they made Timmy sad. And when Timmy was
> sad it wasn't as fun to mow his lawn. It was bad enough that Tammy
> wouldn't let him talk to the people of LawnVille anymore until he was
> done.
> Outside the fence, angry mobs gathered.
> "You're going too slow!!"
> "Hurry up!"
> "I want to see your lawn!"
> "Can I try walking on your lawn before you're done mowing it?"
> (To avoid attracting attention from Tammy, Timmy said quietly, "No, you
> can walk on it when it's finished.")
> "But it'll never be finished!"
> Timmy rolled his eyes. He was sure it would. It was almost done. The
> mower worked beautifully. He was a little confused though why these
> very same people who had seen movies of the mower and lawn working were
> doubting that the lawn mower even existed, but nevermind. He had a job
> to do.
> "Timmy, you're full of hot air!!" screamed Joe-Red-Bob.
> "Timmy is full of hot air!!" screamed Joe-Red-Bob.
> Then, something terrible happened.
> The sky got dark. Creepy black clouds rolled in, blocking the sun.
> Thunder boomed in the distance. It could only mean one thing. Timmy
> turned his head slowly towards the house, fearing the worst.
> "Timmy!!!" shouted Tammy, bursting frantically through the side door.
> "I've changed my mind! I don't want you to mow the lawn that short
> with your special mower! It's too unlike the other lawns in Lawnville!
> It's beautiful, yes, but that short grass will prickle and tickle your
> feet and get dirt between the Lawnville kids' toes! My sister is here
> and she thinks the same thing!"
> "But Tammy!!" cried Timmy, "You said I could do it! You promised it
> was okay and you've supported it all along!"
> Off in the distance behind the fence, Joe Red Bob angrily shouted to
> the Lawnville Mob, "Timmy is full of hot air! Just you watch, he won't
> finish the lawn. Mark my words!"
> Tammy, who didn't hear Joe Red Bob, shook her head and admitted, "I
> just walked on the other side that you've finished. The grass is too
> short. I know it's more beautiful than any other lawn in Lawnville,
> but it's too hard to walk on this very short grass without it tickling
> or scratching your feet! It's uncomfortable. It's not like the other
> lawns."
> Timmy was stunned. He had worked so hard for
read more »