F1 Career Challenge is the console version of F1C - it's got a dodgy career
mode for people with short attention spans... ;-)
F1 Career Challenge is the console version of F1C - it's got a dodgy career
mode for people with short attention spans... ;-)
For what? Sorry I got distracted :))
Ash "2 consoles" McConnell
http://www.siroccoracing.com
Sorry, what were we talking about?
Red "2 consoles" mist
Oh, it doesn't really mat............Oh that dog has a fluffy tail! :))
> F1 Career Challenge is the console version of F1C - it's got a dodgy career
> mode for people with short attention spans... ;-)
>>>>>Is the upcoming F1 Career Challenge the same as F1C ?
>>>>F1 Career Challenge is the console version of F1C - it's got a dodgy
>>>career
>>>>mode for people with short attention spans... ;-)
>>>For what? Sorry I got distracted :))
>>>Ash "2 consoles" McConnell
>>>http://www.siroccoracing.com
>>Sorry, what were we talking about?
> Oh, it doesn't really mat............Oh that dog has a fluffy tail! :))
> Ash "2 consoles" McConnell
Jackson (Terry Jones): Hello.
Host: May I just sidetrack for one moment. This -- what shall I call it
-- nickname of yours...
Jackson: Ah yes.
Host: "Two sheds". How did you come by it?
Jackson: Well, I don't use it myself, but some of my friends call me
"Two Sheds".
Host: And do you in fact have two sheds?
Jackson: No, I've only got one. I've had one for some time, but a few
years ago I said I was thinking of getting another, and since then some
people have called me "Two Sheds".
Host: In spite of the fact that you only have one.
Jackson: Yes.
Host: And are you still intending to purchase this second shed?
Jackson (impatient): No!
Host: ...To bring you in line with your epithet?
Jackson: No.
Host: I see, I see. Well to return to your symphony.
Jackson: Ah yes.
Host: Did you write this symphony in the shed?
Jackson (surprised): No!
Host: Have you written any of your recent works in this shed of yours?
Jackson: No, no, not at all. It's just an ordinary garden shed.
Host: I see, I see.And you're thinking of buying this second shed to
write in!
Jackson: No, no. Look. This shed business -- it doesn't really
matter. The sheds aren't important. A few friends call me Two Sheds
and that's all there is to it. I wish you'd ask me about the music.
Everybody talks about the sheds. They've got it out of proportion --
I'm a composer. I'm going to get rid of the shed. I'm fed up with it!
Host:Then you'll be Arthur 'No Sheds' Jackson, eh?
Jackson: Look, forget about the sheds. They don't matter.
Host (sternly): Mr. Jackson, I think, with respect, we ought to return
to the
subject of your symphony.
Jackson:What?
Host:Apprently your symphony was written for tympani and organ....
(Picture of a shed appears on the screen behind them)
Jackson (turning around): What's that!?!?!???
Host (innocently): What's what?
Jackson: Its a shed!!...get it off!! get it off!!
(Interviewer motions to picture, and it is replaced by a picture of
Jackson him self)
Jackson: (Grudgingly) All right...Thats better..
Host: I understand that you used to be interested in train-spotting.
Jackson: What?
Host: I understand that, about thirty years ago, you were interested in
train-spotting.
Jackson: Well what's that got to do with my ***y music?
John Cleese (entering): Are you having any trouble with him?
Host: Yes, a little. Good Lord! You're the man who interviewed Sir
Edward Ross earlier.
Cleese: Exactly. Well we interviewers are more than a match for the
likes of you, "Two Sheds".
Host: Yes, make yourself scarce, "Two Sheds". This studio isn't big
enough for the three of us! [They throw him out.]
Jackson: Here, what are you doing? Stop it! [Crash.]
Cleese: Get your own Arts programme, you fairy!
Host: Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson... Never mind, Timmy.
Cleese: Oh Mike, you're such a comfort.
Beers and cheers
(uncle) Goy
"goyl at nettx dot no"
http://www.racesimcentral.net/
"A man is only as old as the woman he feels........"
--Groucho Marx--
>>Ash "2 consoles" McConnell
> Host (Eric Idle): Last week the Royal Festival Hall saw the first
> performance of a new symphony by one of the world's leading modern
> composers, Arthur 'Two sheds' Jackson. Mr Jackson.
> Jackson (Terry Jones): Hello.
> Host: May I just sidetrack for one moment. This -- what shall I call it
> -- nickname of yours...
> Jackson: Ah yes.
> Host: "Two sheds". How did you come by it?
> Jackson: Well, I don't use it myself, but some of my friends call me
> "Two Sheds".
> Host: And do you in fact have two sheds?
> Jackson: No, I've only got one. I've had one for some time, but a few
> years ago I said I was thinking of getting another, and since then some
> people have called me "Two Sheds".
> Host: In spite of the fact that you only have one.
> Jackson: Yes.
> Host: And are you still intending to purchase this second shed?
> Jackson (impatient): No!
> Host: ...To bring you in line with your epithet?
> Jackson: No.
> Host: I see, I see. Well to return to your symphony.
> Jackson: Ah yes.
> Host: Did you write this symphony in the shed?
> Jackson (surprised): No!
> Host: Have you written any of your recent works in this shed of yours?
> Jackson: No, no, not at all. It's just an ordinary garden shed.
> Host: I see, I see.And you're thinking of buying this second shed to
> write in!
> Jackson: No, no. Look. This shed business -- it doesn't really
> matter. The sheds aren't important. A few friends call me Two Sheds
> and that's all there is to it. I wish you'd ask me about the music.
> Everybody talks about the sheds. They've got it out of proportion --
> I'm a composer. I'm going to get rid of the shed. I'm fed up with it!
> Host:Then you'll be Arthur 'No Sheds' Jackson, eh?
> Jackson: Look, forget about the sheds. They don't matter.
> Host (sternly): Mr. Jackson, I think, with respect, we ought to return
> to the
> subject of your symphony.
> Jackson:What?
> Host:Apprently your symphony was written for tympani and organ....
> (Picture of a shed appears on the screen behind them)
> Jackson (turning around): What's that!?!?!???
> Host (innocently): What's what?
> Jackson: Its a shed!!...get it off!! get it off!!
> (Interviewer motions to picture, and it is replaced by a picture of
> Jackson him self)
> Jackson: (Grudgingly) All right...Thats better..
> Host: I understand that you used to be interested in train-spotting.
> Jackson: What?
> Host: I understand that, about thirty years ago, you were interested in
> train-spotting.
> Jackson: Well what's that got to do with my ***y music?
> John Cleese (entering): Are you having any trouble with him?
> Host: Yes, a little. Good Lord! You're the man who interviewed Sir
> Edward Ross earlier.
> Cleese: Exactly. Well we interviewers are more than a match for the
> likes of you, "Two Sheds".
> Host: Yes, make yourself scarce, "Two Sheds". This studio isn't big
> enough for the three of us! [They throw him out.]
> Jackson: Here, what are you doing? Stop it! [Crash.]
> Cleese: Get your own Arts programme, you fairy!
> Host: Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson... Never mind, Timmy.
> Cleese: Oh Mike, you're such a comfort.
My mate was really disappointed because he fancied running away and
joining a circus freak show. Now he runs a car body shop instead.
> My mate is called Joe 'one testicle, one squash ball' Stevens. He has a
> prosthetic one. When the doctor sized him up from a tray full of ***
> ones, my mate asked if he could have two of the false ones fitted,
> giving him a sack with three in total. The doctor said no though.
> My mate was really disappointed because he fancied running away and
> joining a circus freak show. Now he runs a car body shop instead.
> My mate is called Joe 'one testicle, one squash ball' Stevens. He has a
> prosthetic one. When the doctor sized him up from a tray full of ***
> ones, my mate asked if he could have two of the false ones fitted,
> giving him a sack with three in total. The doctor said no though.
> My mate was really disappointed because he fancied running away and
> joining a circus freak show. Now he runs a car body shop instead.
Host (J. Cleese): I have with me Mr Arthur Frampton who... (pause) Mr.
Frampton, I understand that you - um - as it were... (pause) Well let me
put it another way. Erm, I believe that whereas most people have - er -
two... Two.
Frampton (T. Jones): Oh, sure.
Host: Ah well, er, Mr Frampton. Erm, is that chair comfortable?
Frampton: Fine, yeah, fine.
Host: Mr Frampton, er, vis a vis your... (pause) rump.
Frampton: I beg your pardon?
Host: Your rump.
Frampton: What?
Host: Er, your derriere. (Whispers) Posterior. Sit-upon.
Frampton: What's that?
Host: (whispers) Your buttocks.
Frampton: Oh, me bum!
Host: (hurriedly) Sshhh! Well now, I understand that you, Mr Frampton,
have a... (pause) 50% bonus in the region of what you say.
Frampton: I got three cheeks.
Host: Yes, yes, excellent, excellent. Well we were wondering, Mr
Frampton, if you could see your way clear to giving us a quick...
(pause) a quick visual... (long pause). Mr Frampton, would you take your
trousers down.
Frampton: What? (to cameramen) 'Ere, get that away! I'm not taking me
trousers down on television. What do you think I am?
Host: Please take them down.
Frampton: No!
Host: No, er look, er Mr Frampton. It's quite easy for somebody just to
come along here claiming... that they have a bit to spare in the botty
department. The point is, our viewers need proof.
Frampton: I've been on Persian Radio ... Get off! Arthur Figgis knows
I've got three buttocks.
Host: How?
Frarnpton: We go cycling together.
(Cut to shot of two men riding tandem. The one behind (Graham) looks
down, looks up and exclaims 'strewth '.)
Announcer: (sitting at desk) And now for something completely different.
A man with three buttocks.
(Interview studio again.)
Interviewer: Good evening, I have with me Mr Arthur Frampton, who.. Mr
Frampton I understand that you, as it were - well let me put it another
way... I believe Mr Frampton that whereas most people... didn't we do
this just now?
Frampton: Er ... yes.
Interviewer: Well why didn't you say so?
Frarnpton: I thought it was the continental version.
(Cut back to Announcer sitting confidently at desk)
Announcer: And now for something completely the same - a man with three
buttocks. (phone on desk rings - he answers) Hullo? ... Oh, did we.
(puts phone down and looks at camera) And now for something completely
different. A man with three noses.
Off-Screen Voice: He's not here yet!
Announcer: Two noses?
Beers and cheers
(uncle) Goy
"goyl at nettx dot no"
http://www.racesimcentral.net/
"A man is only as old as the woman he feels........"
--Groucho Marx--
<snip>
And now for something completely different.
Jason