The problem isn't that the guy likes Dethkarz. It's the fact that he has
"spare time" to spend "enjoying his family" and has "published 5 books". No
simmer worth the name has time for such frivolities. :)
> He enjoys arcade racing games, so what? That doesn't mean that he
> doesn't know what a real sim should be like.
> Andre
> > Here is this whiz bang reviewers bio! Look at his favourite
> >racing games! :-) What a joke! Obviously, his ego matches his
> >reviewing skills! Howie Mandel's brother, what a couple of clowns!
> > Pete
> >CT
> >Staff Writer
> >Daily tasks:
> >Playing Games, Evaluating Games, Being a Gamester
> >Age:
> >3
> >Acts:
> >0
> >Location:
> >Portland, Oregon
> >First game:
> >My own version of Tic-Tac-Toe, which could beat or tie any human using 10
> >lines of code
> >Likes:
> >arcade shooters, pinball, arcade racing, and puzzle games (both
> >action-puzzle and adventure-puzzle varieties)
> >Current Faves:
> >Dethkarz, Motorhead, Recoil, Descent 3, Slave Zero, Nerf ArenaBlast
> >Interested to see:
> >MDK2
> >Fondest *** Memories:
> >Writing over 20 of my own computer games
> >Spare Time:
> >Enjoying my family
> >Other:
> >Chairing a college department, teaching, having five books published
> >Cool:
> >I love undersea and pirate adventure.
> >Hates:
> >Gratuitous sex and ***
> >System Specs:
> >a 400 megahertz Pentium II with 128 megs of RAM, a 16.8 gigabyte hard
drive,
> >a DVD drive, a 21-inch Sony Trinitron monitor, a Xitel Platinum Storm
sound
> >card, a Riva TNT 2D/3D video card, and a Voodoo2 accelerator card.
> >Pseudo .plan:
> >An endless stream of *** articles
> >Copyright 1995-2000 [ NewWorld.com, Inc ] All Rights Reserved
> >> http://www.racesimcentral.net/
> >> Bob Mandel at AVAULT shits on yet another racing sim.
> >> DTR = 2 1/2 stars.
> >> Heres some snippets:
> >> "This is the only offering so far to replicate a popular, yet
> >> not widely known, form of racing in the U.S., with over 700 tracks
> >> across the country .."
> >> Bob-ster, uhhh.. how in the hell can real-life dirt racing be
> >> 'popular', yet 'not widely known'.
> >> Huh? Help us out with this..
> >> "Unfortunately, the courses seem all too similar as you drive on
> >> them; I am sorely tempted to say, "If you've seen one looped dirt
> >> track, you've seen 'em all.""
> >> So I guess it really comes as a shock to this weenie that the most
> >> popular forms of racing in the US of F***ING A are done on
> >> OVALS!!
> >> Is this guy fer real?
> >> "Additionally, the vehicle models are all fictional--there are no
> >> licensed brands--and they show none of the creative inspiration
> >> demonstrated in other computer-created automobiles, such as
> >> those in Ubi Soft's Speed Busters."
> >> Well, now there's something to ponder. Bob 'The Intimidator'
> >> Mandel sez that DTR would be better if it used SPEED BUSTERS
> >> style cars!!
> >> I'm gasping for breath here, folks ..
> >> "From an aesthetic standpoint, the visuals are downright unsightly."
> >> YAH, Bobby, I give the graphics maybe 9 out of 10 stars.
> >> They suck so bad. Too damned realistic. I want chrome, baby!!
> >> And some of those pink Speed Busters cars would ROOL!!
> >> sp33d bust3rs ownz j00..
> >> "The play screen is quite easy to read and nicely laid out. I
> >> especially appreciate the presence of a standard rear view mirror,
> >> which is often oddly missing in racing titles."
> >> BWAHAHAHA... PLAY SCREEN.. ???
> >> I'm losing control here.
> >> "One of the main problems is boredom; driving around an oval track
> >> 12 times with nothing outside worth looking at can get mighty
> >> tedious, especially if you are far in the lead or way behind."
> >> And we can guess which end of the line you were on, Bob.
> >> Yah, the scenery suX0rs, dud3. Maybe they coulda, shoulda had
> >> these babies at that Monaco track. There's lotsa scenery there,
> >> whooo boy. And those french babes make my pecker stiff
> >> I GA-RON-TEE..
> >> Hey, they coulda had a Monaco.Mudslide and then it woulda
> >> worked. Lousy Aussie developer missed a big chance here.
> >> "The speed of the racing is considerably slower than I am used to,
> >> due in large part to the unpaved road surface;"
> >> Yah, since you have never driven a real CAR from a real PLAY SCREEN,
> >> I think we can understand what you're saying here.
> >> "While racing, the sounds of the engine and the occasional collision
> >> are pretty much all you hear."
> >> SHIT! I wanted Alyssa Milano dripping those honey-drop words of
> >> love on.. in my err.. ear.. while I was whuppin' up on the wimpy AI.
> >> Those lamers at Ratbag, WTF were they thinking..
> >> Whew..
> >> Hey y'all, just go read it for yourself. This clueless reviewer
> >> has done this before with several other sims. He is a detriment
> >> to our hobby, in my opinion. Time for a few ***-grams (again).
> >> I'm outta here.