rec.autos.simulators

by **Gollu** » Thu, 10 Dec 1998 04:00:00

A stiff price to pay, but then again, GPL is worth it. <g>

> OH boy, some good responses. After 2 years of playing GP2 almost nonstop
> I've heard them all. Now with GPL coming in 16 short days (xmas) and my
> big computor upgrade happening in the next 10 days, I have planned the
> ultimate way to be able to play GPL non stop for at least 6 months
> without even a wimper from her.

> The plan? I am going to ask her to marry me after 9 years of living
> together. I figure she'll be so distracted by the wedding plans that I'll
> be able to get lots of practice time in.

> I can hardly wait!!!!

> Tony

> "You never know when you've reached the limit, till you land on your
> roof"

> > When you hear a yell from the other room crank up the sound!

> > Go to bed early, then sneak back after a couple quick hours of sleep.

> > Regards, Bill Tillman
> > Turn 1 Track & Touring
> > http://www.racesimcentral.net/~billtill

by **Otto Mathek** » Fri, 11 Dec 1998 04:00:00

Runs the gamut:

1. Actually heard once, never repeated - "Its so cute, you are just like a
little boy with his toys."

2. Tired glance in direction of driver/computer. Bonus points if accompanied
by heavy sigh.

3. More active, but still silent version of #2 - The Gaze of Death - which for
some reason I can sense
with headphones on with both hands on the wheel braking from Vmax into a crowded
turn. Have I developed ESP or is
it what the fictional wet poodle felt when first popped in the microwave?

4. "You pay more attention to that than you do to me."

(Of course I do - I still love/value you - BUT I NEED TO RACE)

5. "I swear, one day you will find that computer smashed to bits."

(A warning sign no sane man should ignore - if repeated again during same
calendar week, unplug wheel
and place in closet so setting up takes effort - apply several nights of
togetherness, flowers brought home,
dinner out etc. Actually appear interested in recitation of events at her
office, furniture on sale, comforters
etc. Remove wheel from closet after 4-7 days, place under or near computer.
One or two days later,
hook up, ask your higher power to inspire significant other to go to bed early
with an empty bladder.)

Sim-***ion is not easy to understand. Besides, what if all the fastest times
in your machine were set by
your spouse?

Cheers,

Otto Matheke

> Every married man has heard the most insane rhetorical questions about his
> free-time habits since N1 was released. Now, with N99, GPL, CMR, etc., we
> hear them more often than ever.

> Last night, I got the dreaded, "Do you realize that it is 4 AM?!"

> Short of tongue-in-cheek divorce stories, what do your better-halfs throw at
> you?

by **Mtank** » Fri, 11 Dec 1998 04:00:00

Bill! Quit playing Grand Prix Legends and come to bed!
Uh, I'm not playing that game...Grand Prix Legends.
I swear I hear a Ferrari, don't you Janet?
No, I don't hear a thing Hillary!
Now Mrs. Clinton, do you swear you hear a Ferrari or do you swear you hear a
Lotus?
Um, will you settle for the GPL manual that nice young man from Adrenalin Vault
subpoenaed, Mr. Hyde?

Happy Tomahawk Missleing,
Mtanker

by **Bori** » Fri, 11 Dec 1998 04:00:00

The best thing thrown to me were fresh pancakes! I like the occasional
snack while racing....

by **Joel Willstei** » Fri, 11 Dec 1998 04:00:00

>Every married man has heard the most insane rhetorical questions about his
>free-time habits since N1 was released. Now, with N99, GPL, CMR, etc., we
>hear them more often than ever.

>Last night, I got the dreaded, "Do you realize that it is 4 AM?!"

>Short of tongue-in-cheek divorce stories, what do your better-halfs throw
at
>you?

She throws my pillows into the quest room.

Joel Willstein

by **Bart Westr** » Fri, 11 Dec 1998 04:00:00

>Runs the gamut:

>1. Actually heard once, never repeated - "Its so cute, you are just like a
>little boy with his toys."

"The difference between men and boys is the size of their toys"

by **Kenny L** » Sat, 12 Dec 1998 04:00:00

Let's see...
1. pictures of herself and the kids
2. her used underwear, I guess the aroma is supposed to jog my senses
3. my work schedual
4. bills for things non computer related
5. subtle reminders that life exists in all directions, and not just in
front of the monitor.
6. ...the things I need to sustain myself that I put on the list of
things to get that I print up during the transition from GPL to N2 to
N1999 to Powerslide to Viper to CART to CPR to NFS3 to SODA to GP2 to ICR1
to GP1 to Indy 500 simulator to Poleposition to nightdriver... ... ...
Oh my GOD, I am sick.

by **Daxe Rexfor** » Sat, 12 Dec 1998 04:00:00

Hmm..does this mean that Janet and Hillary are in bed together and they want
Bill to join them?

+++++((((>>>>>shudder<<<<<<))))++++++

daxe

---== http://www.newsfeeds.com - Largest Usenet Server In The World! ==---

by **Mike Kin** » Sat, 12 Dec 1998 04:00:00

Sure,
Lets see how much racing you are getting in after spending hours looking at
just the invitations, the invitation envelopes, the reply cards, the reply
card envelopes, and even the optional little piece of tissure that goes
between all that. Then band/dj, reception halls.............

It never ends

> OH boy, some good responses. After 2 years of playing GP2 almost nonstop
> I've heard them all. Now with GPL coming in 16 short days (xmas) and my
> big computor upgrade happening in the next 10 days, I have planned the
> ultimate way to be able to play GPL non stop for at least 6 months
> without even a wimper from her.

> The plan? I am going to ask her to marry me after 9 years of living
> together. I figure she'll be so distracted by the wedding plans that I'll
> be able to get lots of practice time in.

> I can hardly wait!!!!

> Tony

> "You never know when you've reached the limit, till you land on your
> roof"

> > When you hear a yell from the other room crank up the sound!

> > Go to bed early, then sneak back after a couple quick hours of sleep.

> > Regards, Bill Tillman
> > Turn 1 Track & Touring
> > http://www.teleport.com/~billtill

by **ttam** » Sat, 12 Dec 1998 04:00:00

>Last night, I got the dreaded, "Do you realize that it is 4 AM?!"

>Short of tongue-in-cheek divorce stories, what do your better-halfs throw at
>you?

The same. And my answer is always the same: "Then what on earth are
you doing up this late? You aren't even playing any game right now,
are you?".

The worst thing she has ever said to me was something like: "Don't
take this personally, but aren't you ever going to get bored of
computer games?".

I was like WTF, was she assuming all this time that one day
I will come out of my "chamber" and just proclaim: "Hallelujah!
I'm cured! I don't care about computer games anymore! The shackles are
off of me!".

I let her have her daily fix of soap operas, so I'm assuming she will
let me have my fix of games. But of course I try to make sure it
doesn't go too far. I start to feel guilty if it seems to me I've been
using most of Sunday in front of some game, so it is always a good
idea to go out with her to do something, even just a walk. Hey, at
least I can come back to some interesting game in the evening without
feeling that guilty.

by **ttam** » Sat, 12 Dec 1998 04:00:00

>The plan? I am going to ask her to marry me after 9 years of living
>together. I figure she'll be so distracted by the wedding plans that I'll
>be able to get lots of practice time in.

Yeah right. Unless she wants you to be present in those planning
sessions.

by **Madhatte** » Mon, 28 Dec 1998 04:00:00

YAAAHAHAHAHA!
It friggin works.... #2 and #7....haha guess what.. I am threatened with
divorce...
especially #7 haha
I almost think rather than trying to get along just get a new girlfriend
and this time pick the petrolhead with her own pc and network the things
together...

haha

>Top 10 Things to do with your loved ones to ensure a complete night of
simracing....

>10. Laugh at the crying bits on movies.
>9. Say things like "Gawd...hasn't SHE got a set of KNOCKERS!" on
completely
> inane movies such as "Little Women". Women, comment on the bulge in
> the lower regions of the male actors...
>8. Request *** horror-thrillers for you and your loved one to
watch...things
> such as 'Alien' or the like.
>7. Continually swap back and forth to Speedvision to keep up on whatever
> racing happens to be going on. If it's a car auction, make sure you
> flip back and forth fast enough to catch all the final bids.
>6. Make sure you say completely honest and heartfelt things in romantic
> movies, example; "Honey, do you think we should have the cat
neutered?".
>5. Remark right during the most romantic part of a movie "Geez! I hope I
> turned the (sim) car off! It usually runs out of gas at 1 hour!"
>4. Pick up a bad habit. Obnoxious ones. Pick your toenails. Pick your
nose.
> Scratch your backside. Eat beans for supper.
>3. Ask to rewatch racing tapes instead of movies. Act like you've never
seen
> them before, and get pissed off at the results, no matter who wins.
>2. Make car driving noises and say "I can't seem to get it out of my
head!"
> Then have a humongous crash and throw yourself across the living
room.
> Request an ambulance to take you to the infield care center.
>1. Continually comment on the lack of equipment in any movie. For
example,
> if forced to watch Patrick Swayze in "Ghosts", say things like "If he
had
> been driving a Grand Prix, he could have just flattened that jackoff
who shot
> him!" or "Why does she have a stupid studio apartment? Hell, you
can't even
> fit a stripped down big-block in there!!"

>They will finally ban you to your room to avoid any other contact with you
for the
>rest of the evening! Now you can race in peace! Try these methods
repeatedly
>for a more permanent solution... ;]

>Cheers!

>(Editor's Note: I AM happily married, and have so far been able to avoid
using
>any of these tactics.) ;]
>--

>??Jan Kohl?? **The Pits Performance Team**
>Computer Systems Programmer
>USAF Air-Ground Operations School
>Hurlburt Field, FL

>Castle Graphics - http://www.racesimcentral.net/
>The Pits - http://www.racesimcentral.net/

by **BC17** » Sun, 03 Jan 1999 04:00:00

THE LOOK!

--
Hitler Started with Gun Control Too!

>Every married man has heard the most insane rhetorical questions about his
>free-time habits since N1 was released. Now, with N99, GPL, CMR, etc., we
>hear them more often than ever.

>Last night, I got the dreaded, "Do you realize that it is 4 AM?!"

>Short of tongue-in-cheek divorce stories, what do your better-halfs throw
at
>you?

by **BC17** » Sun, 03 Jan 1999 04:00:00

Be Glad made that mistake--then I made the other one...AGAIN! Now I go to
the track for silence!

--
Hitler Started with Gun Control Too!

>>Every married man has heard the most insane rhetorical questions about his
>>free-time habits since N1 was released. Now, with N99, GPL, CMR, etc., we
>>hear them more often than ever.

>>Last night, I got the dreaded, "Do you realize that it is 4 AM?!"

>You guys almost make me glad to be divorced!

>-don

by **Larr** » Wed, 13 Jan 1999 04:00:00

You don't have to be married to experience this.

Try two very hungry, drooling Golden Retrievers staring at you because
it's midnight, and they were supposed to be fed at 6pm!

-Larry

> Every married man has heard the most insane rhetorical questions about his
> free-time habits since N1 was released. Now, with N99, GPL, CMR, etc., we
> hear them more often than ever.

> Last night, I got the dreaded, "Do you realize that it is 4 AM?!"

> Short of tongue-in-cheek divorce stories, what do your better-halfs throw at
> you?

rec.autos.simulators

"You're playing that thing AGAIN?!

"You're playing that thing AGAIN?!

"You're playing that thing AGAIN?!

"You're playing that thing AGAIN?!

"You're playing that thing AGAIN?!

"You're playing that thing AGAIN?!

"You're playing that thing AGAIN?!

"You're playing that thing AGAIN?!

"You're playing that thing AGAIN?!

"You're playing that thing AGAIN?!

"You're playing that thing AGAIN?!

"You're playing that thing AGAIN?!

"You're playing that thing AGAIN?!

"You're playing that thing AGAIN?!

"You're playing that thing AGAIN?!

"You're playing that thing AGAIN?!