rec.autos.simulators

Last night, I got the dreaded, "Do you realize that it is 4 AM?!"

Short of tongue-in-cheek divorce stories, what do your better-halfs throw at
you?

"Don't you know you've got to work tomorrow?"

When I play on the computer I wear headphones and crank it up real' loud.
That's a good way to avoid this, especially when your "workplace" is facing
a wall.

Mea***er

Verbal musings that you're tired of playing with the computer and
might head on down to the local *** bar for a couple of cold
ones will probably help in the computer-resentment department.
Titanium briefs recommended for this approach.

A safer approach is to snuggle on the couch and then change the
channels on the TV.  You will soon be banned back to the computer
room (assuming you don't have those late-night pay per view
things that really don't need a soundtrack -- at least not one
that the neighbors can hear... in that case, downshift two gears
and powerslide into the apex while gently caressing the curbs of
the Curva Grande... but, ah, you do _not_ want to finish first in
this kinda race, guys... modulate the throttle and the brake, a
photo finish brings repeat business).

Of course you do realize that this is a maternal thing... surely
you remember mom's similar complaints during that puberty
stage... : "You're playing with that thing AGAIN?!"

Well, Ben, here's what I find works admirably.  Make a plan to spend some time
with the other half, then make yourself so annoying that they send you to your
room for 'punishment'.   Here's the list....

Top 10 Things to do with your loved ones to ensure a complete night of simracing....

10.  Laugh at the crying bits on movies.  
9.  Say things like "Gawd...hasn't SHE got a set of KNOCKERS!"  on completely
    inane movies such as "Little Women". Women, comment on the bulge in
    the lower regions of the male actors...
8.  Request *** horror-thrillers for you and your loved one to watch...things
    such as 'Alien' or the like.  
7.  Continually swap back and forth to Speedvision to keep up on whatever
   racing happens to be going on.  If it's a car auction, make sure you
   flip back and forth fast enough to catch all the final bids.  
6.  Make sure you say completely honest and heartfelt things in romantic
    movies, example; "Honey, do you think we should have the cat neutered?".
5.  Remark right during the most romantic part of a movie "Geez!  I hope I
     turned the (sim) car off!  It usually runs out of gas at 1 hour!"
4.  Pick up a bad habit.  Obnoxious ones.  Pick your toenails.  Pick your nose.
     Scratch your backside.  Eat beans for supper.
3.   Ask to rewatch racing tapes instead of movies.  Act like you've never seen
      them before, and get pissed off at the results, no matter who wins.
2.   Make car driving noises and say "I can't seem to get it out of my head!"  
      Then have a humongous crash and throw yourself across the living room.
      Request an ambulance to take you to the infield care center.
1.   Continually comment on the lack of equipment in any movie.  For example,
      if forced to watch Patrick Swayze in "Ghosts", say things like "If he had
      been driving a Grand Prix, he could have just flattened that jackoff who shot
      him!" or "Why does she have a stupid studio apartment?  Hell, you can't even
      fit a stripped down big-block in there!!"

They will finally ban you to your room to avoid any other contact with you for the
rest of the evening!  Now you can race in peace!  Try these methods repeatedly
for a more permanent solution...  ;]

Cheers!

(Editor's Note:  I AM happily married, and have so far been able to avoid using
any of these tactics.)  ;]
--

??Jan Kohl??        **The Pits Performance Team**
Computer Systems Programmer
USAF Air-Ground Operations School
Hurlburt Field, FL

Castle Graphics - http://www.racesimcentral.net/
The Pits - http://www.racesimcentral.net/

You guys almost make me glad to be divorced!

-don

Go to bed early, then sneak back after a couple quick hours of sleep.

Regards, Bill Tillman
Turn 1 Track & Touring
http://www.teleport.com/~billtill

Boy, am I lucky :-)

// Johan

The plan? I am going to ask her to marry me after 9 years of living
together. I figure she'll be so distracted by the wedding plans that I'll
be able to get lots of practice time in.

I can hardly wait!!!!

Tony

"You never know when you've reached the limit, till you land on your
roof"

Russ

I think your plan for unrestrained racing time will have more interruptions
than a TNN Nascar broadcast.

Good luck.

    funny.

    In the paraphrased words of Tim Allen: "Pretty soon you'll come to the
realization that you're whole world has ended and you'll come crashing down
to reality; I know I did."

Don Hancock
"Gunner"
ICQ24045680

Another possible solution, find some redeeming game for the PC that she'd
like. Of course it may cut into your *** time, but she may get a clue
that you spend hours of time on here for nothing.

Best-case scenario, maybe? She wants attention, you want to race. Get his
and her's thunderseats side by side in front of the PC and take your better
half for a ride. I know, it would never work, but wouldn't that be cool?