The Goodyule 500
Twas the race before Christmas and all thru the track
Each driver was ready to make his attack
The tires had stacked by the pit crew with care
With hopes none of them would run out of air.
The drivers were belted all snug in their seats
Where visions of checkered flags looked mighty sweet.
When out of the infield there rose such a clatter
The crowd sprang to their feet to see what was the matter
What sight met their wondering eyes as they rose?
Twas just Michael Waltrip punching somebody's nose.
With eyes like the eagles the spotters they came
And they turned on their headsets and called them by name:
"On Spencer! On Petty! On Martin and Irvin!"
"On Wallace, Cope, and Craven! On Ward and Jeff Burton!"
"At the top of the curve ram'em into the wall!"
"Now gentlemen, start your engines all!"
More rapid than lightning the "Wonderboy" he flew
With a sackful of cash and the Winston Cup too.
Then Bobby Labonte flew by in a flash
While Speed had a breakdown and Spencer a crash.
Then all at once with a rush and a roar
There came a new car they had not seen before
From bumper to bumper it was painted all red,
North Pole Toy Co. was the sponser they read.
With a little old driver so lively an quick
They all said at once "Hey, this must be a trick!"
"A geezer like that shouldn't be driving here!"
"And why does his pit crew all have pointy ears?"
The next scheduled pit stop went kinda slow
For the old fella stopped t every pit in the row
He spent no time at all, but left gas and oil,
A new set of tires, new tools for their toil.
He asked no endorsment, demanded no fee,
And left only coal for the black #3.
McRenoylds got on the com and said "Hey Intimidator -
Want to chew him up now or save him for latter?"
Dale spoke not a word, but went right to his work.
He gave him a nudge then broadsided the jerk.
But the old guy escaped with a zig and a zag,
And crossed over the finish line, right at the flag.
The old man drove straight up to victory lane,
Grabbed up the trophy and drank the champagne,
Thanked all his sponsers and took the cash too.
Stole a kiss from Brooke Gordon, and then off he flew!
As he sped out of sight, one last cry did they hear,
"Merry Christmas to all, better luck next year!"
Josh Simpson