rec.autos.simulators

Legendary monsters

Topi Paavol

Legendary monsters

by Topi Paavol » Thu, 05 Jul 2001 06:47:37

So I finally got a GPL Monster Rank after months of casual driving and
getting surprised/delighted/frustrated (pick any) by the different cars.
I now feel qualified to give you the definite Expert Chassis Tips which
will instantly drop your handicap by at least 100 seconds.

Lotus: When exiting corners, change one gear higher than usual and think
about touching the gas pedal with your foot. Then drop a feather on it
instead. This has the nice side effect of keeping the motor from blowing
up. If you're lucky.

Eagle: Think "Honda on a diet". Watch out for turtles, snails and
Coopers on long straights, even though rocks and bumps on the road will
probably wreck you anyway.

Ferrari: Yeah, yeah, the engine sound is beautiful. Enjoy the ROAR out
of corners as you leave all others in the dust. The feeling of the
chair-mounted Subwoofers of Destruction is so nice that you don't care
at all when you get passed by the same guys on the straight. Then you
can pass them again as you brake 100 meters later.

Brabham: One gear higher. Get over the feeling of inadequacy as the
Ferrari ROARS into the horizon after T1, while you listen to the
lawnmower sound and forget to change and the engine explodes AND you
overshoot the corner because you were going pretty fast after all.

Cooper: Apparently GPL has some Super 1 Karting code in it as well. Keep
a rope in the***pit so that you can hitch a ride in a passing Eagle or
Honda and drive circles around it at the end of the straight. (No
Lotuses. They tend to explode.)

Honda: Brake about 20 car lengths earlier. You might be able to make the
turn, and the Cooper or Ferrari in your tail will crash harmlessly into
your rear armor. The mechanics are happy, because they still need only
half as much spare parts as the other teams.

BRM: Get a real car instead.

There you go; instant success, fame and money. So what's my favorite?
Eagle at the moment... though that may still change before the next
season.

- topi (-28.48 GPLRank, -45.55 Monster)
--
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