Richard Osborn aged 10
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Richard Osborn aged 10
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> I went to a party, Mom, I remembered what you said. [...]
> [remainder of spam chainmail deleted]
As I read my email, Mom, I knew I wouldn't tick folks off.
Because of the way you raised me, and because my brain is soft.
I started to DELETE the spam, but before I point-and-clicked,
I saw words at the bottom...and in my mind they sticked.
They said, "please forward this to as many people as you can,
And see if we can jam the bandwidth with this chainmail, man!"
The poem was very syrupy, the diction barely literate,
But something about that message made my mind obliterate.
How could this happen to me, Mom? My mailbox burst like a balloon.
I'm burning up from all the flames, folks calling me a loon.
My ISP is threatening to cancel my account
For tying up their lines with this huge amount.
I heard them say that I'll never be signed up again, too,
My name is Mud from San Jose as far as Katmandu.
Why do people Spam, Mom? It can wreck your whole weekend.
I'm feeling very foolish now. Oh, why did I press "SEND"?
The guy who sent the chain to me got away scott-free.
Is that fair, Mom? Just because my brain's small as a flea?
Tell my poodle not to cry, Mom. Tell my boss to be brave.
I'm sure he'll find a better hacker who can click and save.
Put "Didn't read the COPIES TO line" on my epitaph.
And think of me and my mistake whene'er you need a laugh.
My mind is getting duller, Mom. It's feeling very numb.
Please don't cry for me, Mom. You know what I did was dumb.
Just one more question, Mom, from your little lamb:
Why must I suffer? I'm not the one who started this damn SPAM!
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Usenet is essentially a HUGE group of people passing notes in class. --R. Kadel
I have been designated by Warren Lavallee to represent 166.57 s.c.i.j-k voters.