The next time someone cuts you up, cuts you off, crashes, bashes or
otherwise ruins your race,
use this handy-dandy Hawaii Flame Form to give'm your PROPER response! ;]
Enjoy!
Cheers!
--
??Jan Kohl?? ***Diamond Motorsports***
Computer Systems Programmer, USAF
Air Ground Operations School, Hurlburt Field, Fl
<<http://www.racesimcentral.net/;>
US Mirror of "The Pits" <<http://www.racesimcentral.net/;>
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HAWAII (NRL) DIPSTICK REPLY FORM (revision 1.0)
(check all boxes that apply)
Dear:
[ ] Clueless 'dega driver [ ] Nintendo dunce [ ] keyboard
driver
[ ] Rude road course idiot [ ] Indycar idiot [ ] Geek
[ ] non-driving pig [ ] Fishhead [ ] Cheater
[ ] Stereotypical AOLer [ ] backmarker [ ] big cheater
[ ] 12 year old [ ] brainless fool [ ] "Expert"
You Are Being Flamed Because:
[ ] You were driving a car that was warping more than the Enterprise
[ ] You kept saying "Let's draft" at Martinsville
[ ] You started a first lap Talladega crash
[ ] You started a last lap Talladega crash
[ ] You talked throughout the entire race
[ ] You spun me out
[ ] I spun you out
[ ] You spun everyone out
[ ] Your lack of understanding of racing is disgusting
[ ] You got stuck on the wall and I crashed into you
[ ] I got stuck on the wall and you crashed into me
[ ] You can't even keep from crashing on the pace lap
[ ] You can't keep from crashing period
[ ] You even crashed the pace car
[ ] You crashed in the pits
[ ] You hit me with your lapped car
[ ] You hit my lapped car
[ ] You couldn't drive a tricycle through a barn door without
hitting it
[ ] You think "Days of Thunder" was realistic
[ ] You kept saying "The 92 car" AND THERE ISN'T ONE
[ ] You are obviously a 10 year old on mommy's computer
[ ] You are obviously driving with a keyboard
[ ] You asked who Dale Earnhardt was
[ ] It's a wonder you ever made it past skill 0
[ ] You have a stupid Hawaii-id name
[ ] You obviously only can spell 4-letter words
[ ] Your skill level is equal to your IQ
[ ] Your skill level should be negative
[ ] You hit everything at Bristol except for the flagstand
[ ] You thought Sear's Point was a TV soap opera
[ ] You should go back to your Nintendo
[ ] You didn't do anything specific, but appear to be so generally
worthless that you are being flamed anyway
To Repent, You Must:
[ ] Refrain from racing until you have a vague idea what you're
doing
[ ] Shove your joystick where it belongs
[ ] Change Rusty Wallace's oil with your teeth
[ ] Stick your lips to a racing tire after 150 laps
[ ] Give up your Hawaii account
[ ] Flush your modem down the toilet
[ ] Tell your Mommy to give you a Gameboy for Christmas
[ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor (monitor must be
plugged in)
[ ] Start in the middle of the pack at Talladega for a month
[ ] Read and memorize everyone's skill level
[ ] Use your joystick for something useful like a hatrack
[ ] Wait until everyone is finished racing before you get on the
track
[ ] Be Dale Earnhardt's hood ornament at Martinsville
[ ] Pay my phone bill while I race on Hawaii for 72 straight hours
In Closing, I'd Like to Say:
[ ] Get a clue
[ ] Get a life
[ ] Go away
[ ] Go play your Sega game until your eyes bug out
[ ] Never race again
[ ] I hope I'm on your bumper for the next race
[ ] Go stand in the trioval at Talladega and see how it feels to
get hit by 30 cars
[ ] I hope the asylum finds you again
[ ] Go play Solitaire or something else more your speed
[ ] Take your Need For Speed ***somewhere else
[ ] Go back to Driver's Education and actually learn something
[ ] Learn how to drive or go play Destruction Derby
[ ] All of the above
--
--
??Jan Kohl?? ***Diamond Motorsports***
Computer Systems Programmer, USAF
Air Ground Operations School, Hurlburt Field, Fl
<<http://www.racesimcentral.net/;>
US Mirror of "The Pits" <<http://www.racesimcentral.net/;>