rec.autos.simulators

================================================
A GPL Christmas
by Joe Shaw

'Twas The Night Before Christmas, And All Through The House,
Not A Creature Was Stirring, Cept My PC Mouse.
I Was Surfing The Web, For Setup Advice,
For The Right Lotus Toe-In, Id Cash In My Wife.

My Line Through The Bolica, Was Awfully Poor,
My Top End Pathetic, With Throttle To Floor.
Id Spent All My Earnings, Id Made Every Deal,
For A P3 Four Fifty, And A Force Feedback Wheel.

When Out On The Lawn There Arose Such A Clatter,
I Sprang From My Desk To See What Was The Matter.
A Strobe Of White Light, Through The Window Did Flash,
It Looked To My Eye, Like A Giant Clock Smash.

I Threw Open The Sash, And What Should I See,
But A White Bearded Driver, In A Red Ferrari.

He Stomped On The Clutch, And Feathered The Gas,
Then Lifted His Goggles, I Could Tell He Was Fast.
He Pulled Down His Scarf, And Flashed Me A Smile,
And Tossed Me A CD, Labelled "Lo1 File".

"Remember," He Said, "The Ones With The Fame."
And With Eyes To The Sky, He Called Out Their Names.

Now Jimmy, Now Graham, Now Denis, And Jochen,
McLaren, And Pedro, Ginther And Irwin.
"Enter Turns Slowly, And Exit With Speed,
And Youll Get All You Can, From Your Trusty Green Steed."

Then He Shifted To First, And Out Popped The Clutch.
"Im Off To Zandvoort, And The Grand Prix Thats Dutch!"
He Peeled Out In First, With Wheelspin Galore,
Looking For Brabhams, That Still Had A Door.

And I Heard Him Exclaim, With Great Holiday Cheer,
"To All A Good Night, Have a GPL Year!"
==================================================

Merry Christmas all!

MRSisson
--
LOAD "GPL",8,1
RUN

  Hehe, yep.

Bravo!

[snip]

1 tiny human, cut into pieces
2 cups flour
Onion, garlic
Salt
pepper
garlic powder
cayenne pepper
hot sauce, etc.
Oil for frying

Mix milk, eggs, hot sauce in a bowl, add chopped onion and garlic.
Season the meat liberally, and marinate for several hours.
Place seasoned flour in a paper or plastic shopping bag,
   drop pieces in a few a time, shake to coat thoroughly,
   then deep fry in hot oil (350) for about 15 minutes.
Drain and place on paper towels.

Miscarriage with Mustard Greens

Why waste it? Otherwise, and in general, use ham or salt pork to season greens.
The technique of smothering greens can be used with many vegetables;
green beans work especially well. Meat is not necessary every day, don?t
be afraid to alter any dish to vegetarian tastes.

1 premature baby, born dead
Large bunch of mustard greens
2 white onions, 1 cup chopped celery
Vegetable oil (or hog fat)
Salt, pepper, garlic, etc.

Lightly brown onions, celery, garlic and meat in large heavy pot.
Add a little water and the greens (which should be thoroughly cleaned and washed).
Smother slowly for at least 2 hours, adding small amounts of water
   when it starts to stick.
Stir frequently.
When ready - serve with rice, grilled smoked sausage, green salad, and iced tea.
Coffee and apple pie then brandy.

Maternity Ward Pot Luck Dinner

If you can?t get anything fresh from the hospital, nursery, or morgue;
you can at least get rid of all the leftovers in your refrigerator.

1 - 2 lbs. cubed meat (human flesh, chicken, turkey, beef...)
1 -2 lbs. coarsely chopped vegetables
   (car