style (spin often enough and you will point in every direction of the
compass). I spun at the last corner that leads to the pit straight and
during the recovery I went past my board. No problem, me thinks, just
whack it into reverse and back up to take a gander, then off on my way.
As I passed the finish line I saw a black flag being held out for me.
Heading into Tarzan I drove with one hand while hastily paging through
the offical FIA rulebook which I always carry tucked under the seat.
...Hmmm, let's see here [downshift]. Now if it was a black flag with a
Ferrari logo [downshift, downshift, brake] that would mean that
Jean-Pierre Sarti had bought the big one on the Monza banking... no,
that can't be it [turn hard right, crowd Surtees up on to the curb]...
no, apparently the black flag means I have done something wrong...
[gas it, do a little dirt racing to pass a back marker]... well, must
check with my man on the next lap [rear end a Ferrari to help slow for
the next corner]...
On my next run up the straight the flag was still there, so I pulled
into my pit to check in with my crew chief. My sign board displayed
"DQ", and I thought "How delightful!! Why, a tasty sundae or banana
split from Dairy Queen would be a nice followup to a successful practice
session!!". Sadly, the text underneath revealed that I was disqualified
for reversing on the track. Well, I never!! (well, I never got caught
before....). I protested to the Chief Steward, but he just stood there,
motionless.
On to the race. Starting at the back of the field I managed to climb up
a few places, at one point turning a 1:36 which for me with my old
single axis T2 and running a Coventry with the default setup is a pretty
good accomplishment. Then I ran into some problems making passes and
after using a Lotus for a ramp jump that would have made Joey Chitwood
proud I ended up giving the Dutch crowd a little taste of Ivan
Stewart Americana with a few dune jumps.
As I ran pass the pits what did I see but another black flag! Why, I had
nary selected reverse the whole race! We shall have to discuss this
again I see. I pulled into the pits on the next lap and was presented
with a board stating that I had cut a corner. Hah! Why, it shouldn't
count against me since I was inverted during at least half of the
alleged infraction. And what about Gurney? He cut across the grass, too.
Admittedly I had punted him there, but isn't that what catch fencing is
for?? Again I appealed to the Chief Steward, but he was as unmoved as
before. Practically set in stone, in fact. Well, you just can't reason
with some people...
I served my penalty and returned to the race, but my heart wasn't in it
anymore. I consoled myself by brake testing the Lotuses, then I drove to
the finish following my own unique Zandvoort racing line that by sheer
coincidence happened to zig-zag wildly in front of anyone trying to get
past me.
So the black flags cost me a good start and a good finish, but I know
the real reason. The Dutch just don't like me.
--
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