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IsThis 'Deal for Real'........................?

3 posts by 3 people · 11 Nov 1999 - 13 Nov 1999

Nice spam, dumbass. Might have worked except that you included your account ID in the URL. Hmmm... I wonder why you did that? This will be forwarded to alladvantage's abuse department. Dale. -- ----------------------------------------------------------- - Return address invalid - Please share your reply with the newsgroup - If you must reply: remove SPORK -------------------------------------------------------
glen 12 Nov 1999#502979
Nice try, but if you already have an id what do you need to ask us for? glen
m.seery 13 Nov 1999#503139
Welcome to the Total Idiot's Guide to Internet Success! Let's begin: Q: How long will it take me to get insanely rich? A: Depends on you. Probably two weeks. Some people take as long as a month. Q: Does it take hard work or long hours to get insanely rich? A: No. This is the internet. Q: Can just anybody get insanely rich? A: Yes. This is the internet. Q: How do I proceed? A: As you're surfing around the net you'll see banners and links that say things like "Make Four*** Million Dollars in Ninety Days, Click Here to See How!" Simply click the link to get started. Q: It won't really take ninety days though, will it? A: Don't be silly. They just say that so you'll be pleasantly surprised and so it doesn't sound like hype. Q: Okay, I've found one that says "Retire to Your Own Caribbean Isle in One Month!" Is that good? A: Perfect. Q: What does MLM mean? A: Nobody really knows. Morons Lose Money has been snidely suggested by the little-brains. Q: I signed up and now I sell low phone rates. They say it's the easiest thing to sell because everyone uses a phone. And since it's MLM, by the time my third level is operating I'll be making $345,915.45 per week. A: Conservatively. Q: They say the first step is to get my mother into the program. Why is my sponsor happy that Mom has Alzheimers? A: Your sponsor is a shrewd business person. People with any sort of memory disorder make the best targ . . . uh, clients. You can switch your mother's long distance carrier for her, and then start calling the other members of her support group. Q: That sounds a little fishy. A: The ends justify the means. You are offering people substantial savings on long distance. It's for their own good. Q: How else can I get new business? A: Spam. Spam. Spam. Q: I thought spam was bad. A: No, spam is good. Anyone who says it's bad is just jealous because his brain is too small. Q: But won't I lose my web host and ISP? A: In the get-rich-quick business, it's important to cultivate a zen-like non-attachment to service providers. Q: What else can I do to promote my new business? A: Here's a list of suggestions: --Sign up with a free website provider and fill your site with zany colors and flashy banners. --Join every free banner exchange. --Get your own free-for-all links page. --Join every opt-in email list with the word Money, Rich or Lackwit in the title. --Buy software that submits your site URL to the 15,000 most important search engines. --Buy software that submits your ad to the 50,000 most-read free classified sites. --Buy software that submits your link to the 100,000 most popular free-for-all link pages. --Hire a bulk emailer. --Sponsor a golf tournament. Q: Okay, I've done all that and I'm still not rich. I haven't even driven my hitcounter to its knees yet. What am I doing wrong? A: It's possible that you're not very bright. Consult one of your friends who has retired on her internet earnings. Q: What if I don't have any friends who have retired on their internet earnings? A: Then contact someone on the internet who has retired on his internet earnings. Q: What if I've never heard of anyone retiring from his internet earnings? A: Well, then maybe you can be the first. Q: You're pulling my leg, right? A: Oops! Sorry, I thought FAQ stood for Facetiously Answered Questions! Never mind.

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